"For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ."
-2 Cor. 4:6 New International Version-
At the end of the video, a commercial came on for a woman that I did not really recognize but thought I might like to give a shot. Then again, I said, She looks too perfect! I further reflected, Right now, I don’t need to hear or see another perfect person particularly a Christian one! Perfection does not sit well with a pity party.
Furthermore, I felt rather tired of Christian leaders or any other leaders for that matter that gave the appearance of perfection not just in their looks but in their overall life. I had worked around Christian churches and other organizations for a long time, and could write a book about the dramatic stories of deception and my disappointment. I am still reminded of the time that I asked a woman to serve as a partner on my radio show. She decided to try and kick me off so it could become her show. Unbelievable!
Yet, I felt beckoned to listen if only for a moment to this video that seem to pop on my computer screen. In fact, I thought, Perhaps I had seen this woman previously. I couldn’t remember where, but I vaguely remember I thought the same thing the last time I saw her, Too perfect! Absolutely gorgeous, super cute clothes, and a smile that could light up a dark night. She’s probably one of those women that has everything! As I laughed, I figured that I must not have been in good mood the last time I looked for an inspirational speaker either.
Despite my initial perception, I decided to listen for a moment. I heard this well put together woman state her name, Jennifer Rothschild, and found out she was blind. I then wanted to crawl in hole and stay there forever.
As I listened, I became fascinated by Jennifer’s funny, energetic, and soulful presentations. In fact, I didn’t listen to just one of her videos but several. I could relate when she stated, “You don’t have to be blind to see who you are.”
Indeed, as I reflected, I could see alright! Yes, I had a big, ugly spot of judgment in my heart. I reminded myself that I need to go to another level to practice what I preach per what I consider my lifetime message to look beneath the surface at the heart.
Furthermore, I had another blemish, wherein, I felt mad at God. I recognized once again that I am a reluctant leader because I think that I have to show perfection when I speak. I put too much pressure on myself to perform. In a quick and superficial look at Jennifer, in a strange way, I got reminded of myself.
Most importantly, God showed me that pressure to perform can be a form of blindness. When I put stress and anxiety upon myself I put myself in a black tunnel. While Jennifer sees in her surroundings, I suffocate.
In further reflection, I realized that as Jennifer walks in her darkness with God, so must I. Indeed, He becomes our light. Finally, my spirit opened as I realized that despite my blahs, my blindness, and my blemishes, the Lord leads the way when I depend on Him. Thank you, Jennifer Rothschild.